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We all crave routine. Routines help keep our daily lives somewhat organized and predictable. And when used effectively, they give us space and opportunity to be creative and explore new things as well.
This is especially true for kids. We know that kids need established routines. We know that consistency matters. Children thrive when they know what to expect. They become more self-confident and can more easily take responsibility for some of their daily activities. We have routines for mornings, going out, nap time, bed time, and so on.
Several months ago, I shared a “day in the life” post that talked about what our daily routines looked like around here as we adjusted to becoming a family of four. Little was just over 2.5 and the littlest was almost 3 months old. And to be honest, I felt pretty good about our schedule. It was working well for us.
If I’ve learned anything in parenting though, it’s that just when you start to feel like you’ve got the hang of something, you should just take notes on what’s working and celebrate it. Because sure enough – and especially in the first year, things will change eventually.
As I’m writing this, Little turned 3 and my baby is closer to a year than I’d like to admit. Little is still napping in the afternoon and the baby has moved to two naps a day.
And I find myself often needing to take care of sometimes competing demands. Demands for sleep. Demands for play and learning. Demands for adventure and exploration.
So today, I want to share a few tips that I’m learning about how to balance our schedule in such a way that we maintain routine and meet everyone’s needs.
5 Tips to Balance Sibling Schedules – Finding the Right Routine for Your Family
This post is sponsored by Baby K’tan and contains affiliate links. All thoughts and experiences are my own.
Figure out Each Child’s Natural Rhythm
The first thing you need to do is figure out each child’s natural rhythm. What are their sleep patterns? How long do they nap? How often? Are there things that make them particularly fussy or upset? What time of the day are they most alert and cooperative?
Answering these questions will better help you think about how to structure your day. You’ll figure out when to run errands or take your kids out and when you need to be home winding down.
For the most part, we plan our days around nap time, and I think that’s the case with most parents of young children, whether you have 1 child or 5.
If you’re not sure where to start with this, I recommend journaling through your day. Make a note of what time your kids wake, eat, play, etc. Write down if you go out of the house, or your activities at home. And don’t forget to make note of any melt-downs. After a few days, you will be able to recognize some patterns and perhaps some areas for improvement (or things that are working really well).
Decide What’s Most Important
Inevitably with multiple children, your routines will need some flexibility. I mentioned above that we plan our days around nap time and we do. But we REALLY plan our days around afternoon nap time.
That’s the nap right after lunch that both boys still take. And to be honest, it really anchors our day. Since I stay home, the afternoon nap is the only time during the day that I have to get anything done by myself, so it’s important to me that we keep it as intact as possible.
It makes our whole day go more smoothly.
Decide what parts of your day are most important to keeping the day moving and make sure that you stick to them.
Do Things that Make Your Toddler Happy (& Include Baby in the Fun)
When you have a baby, your older kids automatically seem so big and capable. It’s important to remember that they still need you just as much though. And this is the hardest part, I think. Here’s a baby who is totally dependent on you. And here is your toddler who is now learning to share their time with you.
But you’re still just one person. And even though you grew another human inside of you for 9 months, you didn’t also grow another set of hands.
It’s good to remember what your days looked like before baby. Even though everything is different now, your older kids still need to be able to hold onto some of their routines and activities.
Find ways to still get out of the house and do things that your toddler enjoys – going to the playground, walks around the neighborhood, story time at the library, a trip to the museum or play dates with friends.
Getting out of the house – even just playing outside – is so helpful for everyone.
PRO TIP: Look for places that have things for both age groups. Maybe a park with some shaded areas or a sand box that baby can sit with his toys while you watch the older one play. Or bring a couple of toys and a swaddle blanket to sit baby on at the library while the older one enjoys story time.
Use a Baby Carrier
There are lots of benefits to babywearing, but the real reason I love babywearing so much is that it just makes life EASIER. My favorite baby carrier is my Baby Kt’an Carrier. It’s so easy to use and is comfortable for both the littlest one and me.
I don’t even leave the house without my carrier. We’ve even got two in the car – one for me and one for Hubs – because babywearing is for dads too.
Babywearing allows us to get out and be active so Little can still explore, but lets me keep my hands free without having to lug a stroller around everywhere we go.
If you have a baby and haven’t tried babywearing, let me just tell you – IT IS A GAME CHANGER.
Truly. I honestly think it helps me be a better mom to both boys. I am better able to engage with Little and go on fun adventures with him, but I’ve got the littlest close to me as well, which allows me to still talk with him and make eye contact so he can be a part of our activities, too.
I can easily take him in and out of his carrier also, which is a big help if he needs to get out to play or
And since most of our out of the house activities occur in the morning, the Baby K’tan provides a safe, comfortable place for the littlest to rest if he needs to while we’re out.
Baby K’tan has lots of carrier options to choose from so be sure to check them out and find a carrier that fits you and your lifestyle!
Know When to Say Yes (& No) to Both Children
And finally, it’s important to know when to say yes and no to both children. You can’t just expect the baby to tag along all the time and never get time to play with their own toys.
Likewise, you can’t expect your older child to just be content sitting around the floor playing peek-a-boo all day long.
Make sure to say yes to your older child first sometimes while baby waits and vice versa.
I always make sure that each child gets plenty of time specifically for them. If we’re home, I usually try to have something fun for Little to do during the baby’s nap – or we just play together.
Likewise, when I’m nursing the baby or getting him down for his naps, Little plays independently. He knows that I can’t come play during this time.
There is always a give and take when balancing schedules with children.
And to be honest, I don’t always get it right – but each day is a new opportunity, and we celebrate that!
Your Turn!
If you have multiple kids, I’d love to know some of your tips for keeping routines for each of them. Be sure to tell me in the comments!
This juggle can get overwhelming at times. I have 4 at 4 different schools – it’s a constant juggle.
Wow. I cannot even imagine! I remember when my parents had us at 3 different schools and it was such a juggle!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and tips at last week’s Reader Tip Tuesday – we hope you join us at this week’s party. xo http://www.jodiefitz.com/2018/10/02/reader-tip-tuesday-weeks-craft-recipe-party-14-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2/
What a wonderful thing to keep in mind. I know that I have a much better day if I have a routine, why would it be any different for kids? Thanks for the reminder that it is ok to say NO sometimes. It is easy to forget that we have that ability!
Great article!
You are not kidding! No is such a powerful tool though!
I completely agree with you when you say that schedules and routines are ALWAYS changing! I just had my 6th child 2 weeks ago, and now I’m trying to find a new normal/routine for our family. And we also plan our schedules around the afternoon naptime! That is a must need for the young ones!
Yes! And especially in the first year, I feel like – they grow so much so quickly!
This post is going to help a lot of people!
This something I seem to naturally struggle with. I’m learning to stick with a schedule every day now, it has gotten much better though. Keeping each of my two kids on schedule is crazy hard for me. I love these suggestions and will be using many of them!
I’m glad it was helpful! It is something that we are constantly working on and adjusting as needed, but having a somewhat predictable routine has been really helpful for us! I’m glad you are seeing positive results from your schedule also!
I have been struggling to balance between my 3 years old and 1 year old daughters plus working at home and I think I have just learnt 1 or 2 new ways for me to handle. Thank you Mary!
Oh, I’m glad you found it helpful! Working from home adds a whole other layer to the search for balance! I’m sure you’re doing great, but I know it is tough some days! Wishing you all the best!
These are great tips, momma! I found after I had my second child, we had to adjust to a whole new rhythm… and it took a bit longer than I had anticipated. Baby wearing is SO helpful — as is getting outside!
It definitely takes a while – and it’s always changing! Baby wearing is an essential around here! And yes! Getting outside is good for us all!
I definitely need this post! Our second one will be here soon and I’ve been wondering how I’m going to balance newborn life and that of a 4-year-old. Thanks!
Congratulations! Wishing you all the best! You’ve got this! (Also, feel free to reach out if you have any questions ever!)
These are such great tips! And babywearing is definitely a life saver!!
Thank you! I don’t even leave the house without my carrier (and I keep one in the house too because, sometimes you just need it)!
It can be such a struggle to keep schedules organized with multiple little ones, I still don’t have a handle on it! Using a baby carrier is so helpful though!
It is definitely a challenge. You are rocking it over there though!
Way to go! (Saving this for future reference haha) Happy Wednesday friend! xo
Thanks, girl! Happy to be helpful! 😉
Great Post! It is sometimes so overwhelming trying to be realistic in planning out routines and schedules. especially when life gets hectic!
Oh, I’m glad you used the word “realistic”. Yes! It can be tricky, but so important.
Learning to say no is a big one for us! My boys get birthday invites constantly. And we simply cannot attend them all. If it’s from s child that I’ve never heard them mention, we say no. Can’t believe your Littlest is almost one!!!! You’re doing awesome, Mama!
That is a really great point! We are working on saying no more often too. Not because we don’t want to, but because sometimes it doesn’t work with our schedules, or we need to prioritize something different. Like rest if we’ve had a busy week.
And I know! I can’t believe it either. It is going by too quickly!
These are such awesome tips! I love all your points and found myself nodding a lot. Your first point about figuring out each kid’s natural rhythm really makes a lot of sense to me. I remember last year when my daughter was in kindergarten. I know that she does better in the mornings so I chose morning kindergarten. It was a little harder for me because it made the mornings crazy but I know it was beneficial to her.
It’s so important. Kids get cranky when they aren’t in their rhythms and it isn’t good for anyone! I try to work our day based on their schedules as best as I can. I’m glad K worked out so well for her! I hope she is loving first grade this year!
What great tips! I love how they can be customized for any child- each has their own style.
You are so right! Every child definitely has their own style!
I love this! Such wonderful advice. I did not have littles at the same time. There was about 10 years difference in my boys, though I did babysit an infant and a 3 year old while my son was about 2, and man it was hard. You are so right though, a routine is such a life saver!
I love how you explained how to break it all down by journaling your day! I know that would really be a big help in planning a routine.
Thanks for linking up @LiveLifeWell!
Blessings,
Amy
Routine is so important. I find our days go so much smoother when we try to stick to a simple routine!
Great tips! Love the decide what’s important, so true!
It really is so important for everything we do. It can be easy to be distracted!
I love all of your tips. I have never been really good at sticking to a set routine. But there are specific things that happen each day and each week that we try to stick to. When my second was not yet walking I loved using the baby carrier it was so much easier to go places with two kids and still have two hands. Now that both of my kids are walking and “very independent” it is a lot more work to make outings happen, but when we do it’s so much fun.
I bet! I plan on using the Baby K’tan carrier as long as I can! My oldest is pretty independent and I can only imagine what it will be like when they are both on the go!