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I can’t believe that it’s already time to be planning for the holidays. How in the world has another year come and almost gone already? This is always a fun time of year, but if we’re not careful, it can also become a stressful and too busy time of year very quickly. Today I’m sharing some of the things we do as a family and that I do personally to enjoy this time of year and make it special and filled with memories. These are things I do to avoid taking on lots of the anxiety that can often sneak up on us.
When Hubs and I first got married, this was never a real issue. Somehow being in your early twenties with time off of work and no kids allows you to be a lot more carefree. This changed of course back in 2015 when we became parents. All of a sudden, it wasn’t as easy as throwing some things in a bag and hitting the road for the weekend. Or for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Traveling of any sort but especially overnight trips suddenly take lots of planning and forethought. And even with that, there isn’t ever a real guarantee that it will go smoothly.
Our first holiday season as a family of three was tough for me. I wasn’t prepared well and was kind of a grouch. (Everyone else had a great time, I just didn’t have appropriate expectations and frankly, there is only so much you can do to make “traditions” with a 3 month old.) I made some mental notes about what worked and what didn’t and by the next year, I’m happy to report that the holidays were full of fun, family, and friends and were even restful. Today, I’m sharing some of the things I learned to help the holidays go more smoothly – especially if you’ve got travel coming up.
Preparing for the Holidays with Kids
Decide What You Want to Do
First things first. Decide what you want to do. In your ideal world, what are all the activities, events, and traditions that you would like to do as a family or with your child during the season? This might include parades, community events, church services, parties with friends, office events, family gatherings, arts and crafts projects at home, movies, driving around to look at lights, etc.
Think of all these things and then decide which ones you absolutely want to be sure to do and which would be fun, but not essential.
If I’m honest, this is where I failed most in that first Christmas. All the “traditions” sounded fun. I didn’t take the time to decide what would actually work best for our family. As a result, I felt like Christmas sort of “happened to me”. That’s a strange way to say it, but it’s how I felt. It felt like I was going through motions, but not really doing things that were special, or unique with our family. I felt like I missed out on the “creating traditions” part because I hadn’t taken the time to decide what traditions were important to me.
Plan Ahead & Communicate Well
Once you’ve decided on the things that you’d like to do, it’s time to start planning. Find out when tickets for various events go on sale, if necessary. Ask friends where the best light shows are. Start looking at your calendar to determine any events and outings that you’ll need to attend (the weekends fill up SO quickly!)
Planning ahead is critical if you’ll be doing any traveling. Talk with family members and friends who you’ll want to visit to be sure that you coordinate with their schedules to determine when you’ll be traveling and how long you’ll spend in each place. (Or, maybe just invite everyone to your place and skip traveling!)
After your plans are tentatively made, be sure to start communicating those well to everyone involved.
When you express your plans and expectations up front, early and clearly everyone can work together to make the most of the season. One really great way to do this is to write things on the calendar once they are planned for everyone to see. Spend some time at the start of each week and/or weekend to go over the activities for the upcoming week.
Things go way more smoothly when everyone is on the same page.
Make Lists & Check Them Twice
Lists for everything. Make all the lists. Hosting a party? Make a list of activities, supplies and groceries. Traveling? Make a list of all the things you’ll need to remember to pack. If you’re sending Christmas cards, get your address list together. List all the gifts you’ll need to buy (family, friends, any secret Santa or white elephant exchanges, etc.) Keep to-do lists to keep things around the house moving smoothly.
This goes back to the point above. Having lists not only keeps you organized, but also allows others to see areas where they can help. This is also a good way to start delegating tasks, which brings me to the next point.
Ask for Help
I think this is a tip for life – not just the holiday season, but I’m including it here because it can be easy to forget. Most people are willing to help if they are able and know that you need it. Think of the people that you’re hosting for those parties. Why not ask everyone to bring a side dish? Or, ask a few people to bring some other thing – drinks, napkins, etc.
You may just want to ask for some time alone to get things done. Whatever it might be, don’t be afraid to ask for help. This will reduce your stress and get everyone involved in the process!
Take Time to Be in the Moment
Even the best made plans tend to be subject to change. Especially when you have children. Take some time to unplug and just be present with your family during the holiday season. Actually, do this often. Decide to do something laid back and fun – something that is specifically restful with your family. The hustle and bustle can easily wear you down and it’s not really good for anyone. My guess is, your kids just want to play with you anyway. So make it fun, make it merry. But don’t forget to be there in the moment.
Pray
Finally and most importantly, cover the whole season in prayer. Pray for wisdom, patience, grace, and humility to love your family and others well during this season. Pray that you would not get caught up in the comparison game or believe that myth that things need to be perfect to be memorable.
You’re definitely set for a very merry Christmas! I think asking for help is a really good point. If everyone brings a dish, it makes the party much more enjoyable for the host, and I think people are always happy to contribute. Merry Christmas!
Thank you! I completely agree. I’ve learned that most people are really willing to help if we just ask them and it not only makes others feel more included and a part of the celebrations, but it takes a lot of stress off of you, too!
My list is finished and everything is almost checked off. I am so excited.
Oh wow! That is worth celebrating for sure!
I love lists!! I make them for EVERYTHING! This is a great reminder for the upcoming holiday season!
Yes – all the lists! I’ve got several that I know I need to make soon for this season!
Great tips!
We live on the opposite side of the world to all our family so that keeps a lot of the holiday pressure down as we don’t have to try and fit in with anyone else’s traditions or schedules. We’ve made new traditions for our family, as well as kept some of the old ones, so it feels much more personal. I do still find that I get a little stressed trying to keep up with all the fun things going on through the holiday season though.
Oh wow. I bet that can be bittersweet! It is fun that you all are making your own traditions though! And I totally understand about trying to keep up with all the things that go on around this time of year – it can be overwhelming!
This is such a great refresher on planning out for the holidays and life with kiddos. Life definitely is night and day when you have kids as far as trips go. That simple trip to a tree farm etc turns into a major ordeal of packing, or omg moments if you don’t pack enough. I get Total mom guilt when opi forget an extra blanket or something.
Angela
I totally agree! Everything involves WAY more planning! And there is still much fun to be had, but you definitely have to be more strategic!
Hi. Two Chicks and a Mom featured your helpful post at Party in Your PJs 185–hope you can visit us again.
https://twochicksandamom.blogspot.com/2017/11/party-in-your-pjs-185.html
Thank you so much for the feature! I enjoy your link up each week! <3
Love your ideas! I felt extremely unprepared for Christmas last year. I think I was more overwhelmed with the fact that it was my daughters first Christmas and I wanted everything to turn out perfect. This year, we added a son into the mix and I’m so excited to share the joy with my family! I feel so much better about welcoming December into our household.
Our first Christmas as parents is really what inspired this post in the first place! I wanted to do so many things and it was really overwhelming! We try to take it a bit easier these days and it makes a world of difference!
Great tips! I try SO hard to not let all of the Holiday busyness stress me out and to make it fun for my kiddo!
Same – it can be tough not to get caught up in the stress and hustle and bustle, but I also try to be really intentional about just being present!
These are such great tips! I totally agree with making lists and asking for help, for some reason asking seems so hard to do, I’m working on doing it more too!
Lists are critical around here! And I wish that asking for help came more naturally. BUT, I have found that the more willing you are to ask for help, not only does it become much more natural, but you open yourself up to others being willing to ask for help as well.
Pray, pray, pray! So important for cultivating a wonderful season.
I agree! I need to be better about this in my own life – to pray FIRST before trying to do all the things.
Thanks for these awesome tips. I will say that you have your head on straight. I remember the adjustment time from going from 1 to 2 and then 2 to 3.
Thanks so much, Melissa! I don’t know if you really can be fully ready to add another into the bunch, but we are certainly excited about it!
Thanks for your honesty in this post and for sharing at the Blogger’s Pit Stop. I’ve pinned this to our group board. I wish you all the best fort his year’s celebrations, it seems like you’ve got it covered well! Debbie from Deb’s World
Thank you so much! I appreciate you stopping by & sharing! All the best!
Great tips and I will certainly revisit this post nearer to the holidays when I’m starting to panic! #bloggersbest
I’m glad you found it helpful! I need to remind myself of these things, too1
These are great tips! I learned as my kids were growing up that I was getting stressed keeping up some traditions they were no longer interested in – so checking with them and paring down the parts that no longer ‘fit’ helped keep things calmer.
Oh, this is really great advice! Some traditions are great for a season, but really don’t “fit” forever! This is a really great tip!
This is an absolutely great post! I did the same thing for my sons first Christmas. He was 2 months old and we overextended for sure. Since having our second child in 2016, we’ve tamed down our routines. We just celebrate most of the month as a small family.
It’s so easy to overextend ourselves – especially when we have kids because we want them to be able to experience all the things. I’m learning each year how best to pare down some of our traditions to make the most of the season in a way that keeps our focus where it should be and allows us still plenty of down time and rest!
I am a huge list maker too, I made our family Christmas bucket list a little while ago! I loved all that you shared in this post, they are wonderful reminders!
I’m working on our family Christmas list this week! I really want to make the most of the season and the last few months we have as a family of three!
I find that I put so much effort into making the whole season magical that by the day Christmas actually arrives I am all Christmas’d out and ready for it to just end. It’s not a fun feeling on Christmas day and I’ve been working hard the last few years to just relax and enjoy it more. This might mean planning less things to do but it’s well worth it to still feel joyful by the time the big day arrives.
This is really easy to let happen. I think your point is spot on though, to be willing to do less things, in order to be present and joyful in the things that you do. I’m sure that makes for a much better season all around!
My favorite is “Take time to be in the moment”. Sometimes we get so caught up in the agenda that we forget to just…. Enjoy! Thanks for the reminder:)
This is the hardest one to remember sometimes, but I think one of the most important!
Wise words, indeed.
My most important thought for this December is to set realistic expectations for what we can accomplish.
Oh, this is a great tip! It is so helpful to set realistic expectations from the beginning so you don’t get burned out or disappointed!
These are great tips! One decision we made after we had our first child was that we will not travel for Christmas. We want our kids to wake up in their own beds at Christmas, but our house is always open to guests coming over.
I bet this does save a lot! We always grew up traveling to my grandparents’ houses – although they lived really close to us so it wasn’t such a huge ordeal. We have continued to travel with our son, but I am not sure how or if that will change as our family grows.
It’s also important not to be too hard on yourself when little things go wrong. Chances are the children will be so caught up in the magic of Christmas that they won’t even notice, so why worry yourself?
Hope you and your family have a lovely Christmas x
This is a really great reminder for the holidays and life in general! Kids often don’t even notice even though we can allow ourselves to become so worked up when things don’t go as we planned.
Great tips – especially the “be in the moment” one. It might be the most difficult one here, but it’s so worth it. Our holidays with young children are limited and it’s such a time of magic to have little ones around during this time. Sometimes you just have to stop doing and enjoy it!
I completely agree. It can be one of the hardest ones to put into practice – especially when you are planning the celebrations out. It is such a fun and magical time with little ones though, you’re right. So I really do want to just soak it all in.
Great tips. Ask for help…life tip is right! Christmas with kids can be tough. You have don’t a great job of laying out how to help!
Thanks so much! Asking for help is such an important tip for managing motherhood, I think. (And really life in general!) I wish that it came more naturally!
Great post! I honestly think planning ahead (even though many can’t bear the thought sometimes) and making a list is key to getting things right! I hope you have a great Christmas this year 🙂
It is key around here! It really helps us stay organized and all on the same page as a family!
These are wonderful ideas! Planning and prayer is so important when it comes to the holidays, especially with kids!
I completely agree! We wouldn’t get through without mounds of stress if not for those things!
I love what you said about Christmas “happening to you”, I think that it’s so easy for that to happen as we become parents and things become busier and we just want to create these magical experiences for our children. And oh my gosh, amen to making lists!! I loved everything you had to say in this post!
So easy! We [I] have to make lists. I really think I would be so stressed without taking time to think through things and writing the lists down ahead of time! I definitely do find myself trying to think of things to make the holidays fun for the kids – but really, the simple things always end up being the best.
“I felt like I missed out on the “creating traditions” part because I hadn’t taken the time to decide what traditions were important to me.” – We are slowly learning what works best for us too. It was a whirlwind those first few Christmases. I feel like we still making new traditions. I think the hardest on the list, for me, would be to ask for help. I have a hard time doing this; I want to be super woman but fail miserably. 😉 My most favorite on the list is to pray. Quiet moments with the Lord during the hustle and bustle, make such a difference! (Bonus points if you can include those kiddos to help pray) Thank you for this insightful list! <3
It still is a whirlwind sometimes here, too. It’s a process to figure out what works and really, it continues to change with little kids because they are so different from year to year. Asking for help doesn’t come naturally, but it does get easier – and when we ask others for help, we encourage them to do the same with us when they need help. I’ve found that when we work to create a community that is willing to ask one another for help, it feels much more natural!
Another thing I find thet helps in making it merry..is keeping it simple! Enjoyed your post and Happy Holidays!
This is one of the top things – you are so right! Simple, no fuss is the way to go – especially during a time that can become so busy so quickly!
All great tips! I think it’s definitely important to plan ahead on most things or it’s easy to bypass things you really wanted to do. Plus, planning ahead relieves a LOT of stress.
-Lauren
Yes – planning ahead is critical especially during such a busy season when time seems to fly by so quickly! Otherwise, it is so easy to miss things you really wanted to do.
I love all of these tips! Planning and praying is so important for us. I hope you and the family have the best Thanksgiving and a great time kicking off the holiday season!
Thank you so much! Same to you – wishing you all the best this season!
This is great advice! Things seem to get a lot more complicated when you are factoring in baby sleep and feeding schedules, hauling all the extra stuff, etc. Thanks for sharing!
Absolutely! It can definitely get more complicated, but list making definitely helps – as does just accepting that things might take longer than you expect – almost always!
I am a list person, but I didn’t think of a list for all the travel details! That is a great idea!
Oh, the travel details are so important for me to be sure my husband and I are on the same page – especially when we are visiting both families in different cities!
I’ve got two young boys and this time of year is always crazy! Love making lists, everything is so much easier when it’s written down.
Yes! I make a list for everything and it really does help everyone stay on the same page!
I love that you included “take time to be present” as a tip. That is a much needed reminder! Merry Christmas to you and your family!
It really is – and unfortunately it can be so easy to miss! Same – I hope you and your family have a very merry Christmas, too!
Lovely ideas. Last year I found it a little stressful as my first with two but this year I want to be more organised and have done a lot of shopping already. I have made my family plans and will go with the flow. Hope all goes well for you and thanks for sharing with #bloggersbest x
Great tips.. We pray all the time!
Thank you – Prayer really is the best tip on the list!
Great tips. I think the first is especially important. You’re right—there are so many options for things we CAN do, but we shouldn’t (and can’t) do them all.
Thank you! And this is a hard lesson sometimes to learn! I always say we can do anything we want – just not everything. I hope you have a great holiday season!
Great tips and ideas!
Thank you so much; I’m glad it was helpful!