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I’ve always been on the tall and slim side. I was awkwardly lanky in elementary and middle school and my pants almost never fit right – they were either too big or too short. It’s not the worst problem to have though, I suppose. Since then, I’ve been fortunate to be about average – average height, average weight, average shoe size. I’ve also been fortunate to not have really struggled with body image growing up. I would be critical of myself sometimes and almost always wished to have been in a little bit better shape, but overall, I’ve tended to have a pretty positive relationship with my body.
Now, I’ve been pregnant or nursing almost consistently since January 2015. I guess technically, December 2014, but I didn’t know it then. I gained just over 40 pounds with each pregnancy, and while people always told me it was all belly, I could look at pre-pregnancy photos and know that wasn’t entirely the case in either pregnancy. It’s evident to me where the weight has been added across my body and if I’m honest, I don’t always love it.
Either way, all belly or not, I always felt really confident during my pregnancies. I was so thankful to have been able to conceive and carry children without complications. And I was so proud of the work that my body was doing to grow another person inside of itself. Even during the most uncomfortable parts of pregnancy, I loved my body and was incredibly thankful for it.
But, ask any mom and they will tell you that there is something a little less glamorous about your body postpartum. Childbirth does quite a number on your body (not to mention breastfeeding if you choose to do that afterwards). Things change. Your body does this incredible, truly beautiful thing and it’s just not the same anymore. Your body looks different. It feels different. And suddenly, you find yourself in a strange limbo between wanting to get back into your old clothes and wanting to toss it all and get a whole new wardrobe. Or maybe that’s just me, but I digress.
I’m currently in that last stage. I’ve lost just over half of the weight I put on during pregnancy, but still have a ways to go. Things are starting to fit better, but there are definitely days when I need to try on a few different outfits before I find one that I feel really confident in. It’s a work in progress.
Either way, I want to talk about postpartum body image and share five things that postpartum has taught me about my body. These are real things that I am more aware of postpartum than ever before. They are things that I cling to and choose to be thankful for. If you are struggling to love your postpartum body (or just need a little pick-me-up), I hope these truths will encourage you today.
Postpartum Body Image: 5 Things I’ve Learned & How I’m Embracing It
My Body is Resilient
40+ pounds is a lot of weight in just 9 months and my body had some adjusting to do during and after it.
But, postpartum has taught me that my body is resilient. I know that my body can heal and recover. I’ll be able to complete a workout and run again and I might even get back to a goal number on the scale. It will take some work, but so does anything that’s worth it. But I know that my body can do it. It’s done it before.
I am amazed at the way my body can adapt to carrying and delivering a child and nursing that child. And I’m amazed at the way my body can learn to do the things it did before that, too.
My Body is Different Now
And although I know that my body will recover, there are some things that will just never be quite the same after pregnancy.
I used to be afraid of getting stretchmarks. Now, I embrace them. They tell a story – and it’s a really good one. My tummy is softer and I sometimes have to be careful when I sneeze. I don’t sleep through the night anymore – but I can do WAY more than I used to on little sleep. And my hair has gotten used to going several days without washing – so it doesn’t get oily nearly as quick.
Even if (when, I hope) I lose all the baby weight and everything fits again, things have shifted and stretched and I just can’t fully go back to how things were before. But, I don’t think I want to. I have a new appreciation for my body that I didn’t have before. My body is different. But so is my ability to be thankful for it.
My Body is Strong (& the number on the scale only tells part of the story)
My body is strong. Before kids, I was so focused on the way my body looked. I only really paid attention to my diet and exercise when the number on the scale started going up. I had to go to physical therapy for my knees after having Little because they were hurting so badly. Essentially what had happened was that my legs had gotten weaker during pregnancy and weren’t giving my knees the support they needed. The doctor suggested that I start strength training to build those muscles back up. I asked about using an elliptical (my fave gym equipment) and his response has stuck with me ever since. He said, “Sure. The elliptical will help you lose weight, but you need to focus on weights and strength training if you want your legs to get stronger.”
Stronger. Not necessarily skinnier. Since then, I still pay attention to my weight – but I know it’s only part of the story. I’m focused on keeping my body strong and healthy.
And if I ever questioned whether or not I was strong enough to do something – I just look at my kids. Postpartum has reminded me that no matter what the number is on the scale right now, I birthed humans. My body used it’s strength to get those sweet boys into this world and it did it.
My body is so strong.
My Body Needs the Right Kind of Fuel (& that’s my responsibility)
This one is not always easy for me to accept, but it’s true just the same. My body need the right kind of fuel and I’m responsible for that. I’ve got a strong sweet tooth. If you put sweets in front of me, I will accept them. I will not turn them down. It’s easy during pregnancy to not worry about those things since you can’t really distinguish the baby weight from the brownie weight (#owningit), but ultimately, I am responsible for what I put into my body.
I feel way more positive about my body image no matter what the scale says when I am eating well and getting some physical activity and rest (when I can) into my daily routine. When I’m taking responsibility for that and making healthy decisions, not only is my body getting healthier, but my perception of my body is getting healthier, too.
My Body Needs Grace
And finally, if you don’t take anything else away – take away this lesson that I learned. My body needs grace. Postpartum is a special kind of season. Your body has just done an incredible thing. An incredibly hard and exhausting and beautiful thing. It’s not a bad thing to set a goal for your body. It’s not bad to want to get back to working out how you used to. It’s not bad to have a goal weight.
But give your body some grace. It all takes time.
Postpartum has taught me patience with my body. The old saying is true that it took 9 months to gain all that weight. You just can’t expect it to fall off in a week.
My body is resilient. My body is different. My body is strong.
First, girl, I think you look fabulous- that red is your color!!! (And your bum looks good in those jeans;) haha. But seriously, I hate everything about postpartum except the baby! The hormones, the lose skin, the feeling like your insides might fall out if you sneeze (or is that just me? Ha). Thank goodness it eventually gets better right? And, we forget and then we do it again. My body after four kids will never be the same (truthfully, I gained 60 lbs with my first and that’s what did it more than the kids lol eek). But, I figure my life will never be the same either so it’s fitting! And, my husband says he likes my tummy just the way it is now (suck up;). <3 Jamie
Thank you, lady! It definitely gets better! It’s always a weird transition though. Always trying to remember to be gracious with and thankful for my body!
Hi Mary
Even though I have not had children, this is a great post! You have great insight and appreciation for your body and what it is able to do, and the miricle of giving birth. this is very uplifting to read!
thanks for linking!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
Thank you so much! I really do think our bodies are incredible!
I remember after having my son feeling so sad my body was different, but then realized that women’s bodies are so amazing that we can grow another little human inside of us and the little things that go along with that we should absolutely be proud of. Such a great post!
xx, Elise
http://www.sparkleandslippers.blogspot.com
It is definitely an adjustment! So important to give grace and celebrate the incredible things our bodies have done!
Such a beautiful post. I never had children so can’t really empathise but I do understand that what your must go through is hard to deal with, and yet you’ve accepted it so beautifully. And you look great, by the way!
Thank you so much for linking up to the Thursday Moda this week! I’m thrilled to be Ada’s co-host today <3
Big hugs
Suzy xx
http://www.suzyturner.com
Thank you so much, Suzy! I appreciate you stopping by and your kind words!
I can relate to this post! I have two girls and with each my body changed. It took me about 18 months to get all the weight off with my second and my body just changed (part of that is age too I think) I’ve learned to accept where I am at and that I am beautiful no matter my size, hips or tummy!
http://www.mylittlenest.org
You know, I am having to remember this time around that I am also older as well. Each pregnancy and postpartum is so different!
AMEN! Excellent post and you look fabulous! Thanks for sharing! xo
Thanks so much!
This is a great post! Sometimes the changes to your body can feel so weird and frustrating. I’ve actually lost all the baby weight, and my body still wears things differently and looks different. It’n not going to every be exactly the same as it was. And I’m ok with it, believe it or not.
Yes! I can totally relate after having lost the baby weight with my first, things change and that’s ok!
I love this!! Giving yourself grace after having kids is so important. And knowing that your body is different post pregnancy is also important to remember.
It really is!
What a great post! I’m so glad you learned to embrace it. It took me a while also, I’m more like work in progress. 🙂
Oh, I am definitely still a work in progress. Thankful that high-waisted jeans are trendy now! <3
I so needed to read this today, thank you! It’s easy to get down on yourself but it’s important to keep perspective about what your body just went though after having a baby!
It is so easy to get bummed. It’s a weird transition too. Too small for maternity clothes, not quite fitting right into old clothes. I am trying to remind myself of all the good things my body has done through pregnancy and childbirth. And also – grace. grace. grace.
These are great insights and a very good way of looking at our bodies after child birth. A lot of the times at least for me I point the jiggle in my belly because I got pregnant and while yes it created a post preggo pouch, I need to be thankful for the child it supported and helped keep alive for 9 months. Sometimes it is easy to just want to look like how I looked before but part of the journey is accepting all the changes good and bad and looking at it from the perspective of personal growth. Honestly I wouldn’t be who I am today without all these little and big changes. So I love your perspective on your body image and so glad you are doing and recovering well.
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
Thank you so much, Maureen! I so appreciate your words! I love how you pointed out the “personal growth” factor too. I think that there is a certain level of growth and maturity that it takes to shift perspective to appreciating our bodies and putting them into the perspective of what they have accomplished rather than how we wish they looked.
I’m still struggling to love my postpartum body even though I managed to lose all the weight I gained during pregnancy and a bit more even. My skin will never look the same in certain areas of my body. I don’t know why if affects me so much. But I’m trying to feel different about it. More positive. So thank you for sharing this. Means a lot to me.
Oh, Mama. It is so tough. This is exactly why I say that the number on the scale is only part of the story. Our bodies change so much. It can be like getting to know a whole new person looking back at us in the mirror. I am so grateful for your transparency and I hope you never feel ashamed for talking about struggling with it – it’s definitely a journey. You are so beautiful and I hope that you don’t forget it.
OH!! This is so beautiful and so important! I love that you remember how strong your body is!! That’s something I always forget. I also gained about 40 pounds with my first pregnancy, and I didn’t love the way I looked after. It made the beginning stages of parenthood even more difficult. I was constantly worrying about how different I was, how I didn’t feel myself, how my clothes didn’t fit. Ugh! I wish I would have just chilled out and realized the truths I know now! <3 Our bodies are amazing! They are strong, and beautiful!
It is definitely an adjustment. I just think it’s helpful to remind ourselves often of all the incredible things our bodies go through during pregnancy – and also to really take responsibility for keeping them healthy. (I have such a sweet tooth so this one is sometimes hard for me!)
It’s so hard to love a postpartum body, especially with all the photos of women who bounce back to pre baby weight so quickly. In the last 4 years, I had been bullied about my postpartum body and it really got me down, but I’ve learned to embrace it. I realized that this body gave me two beautiful, smart kiddos and my husband loves me just the way I am, so I’ve learned to love and accept myself as well.
I am so sorry that you have been made to feel badly about your body; no one should have to go through that. I’m also thankful that you are learning to embrace it. Isn’t it incredible how receiving love can help us love ourselves also? Glad you’ve got a great support system at home!
First off, you look incredible!!!
Second off, grace is so essential. I am still not where I want to be post baby, but I just say “Hey, I had a baby!” (However, I need to be careful to not get lazy too haha)
<3 <3 <3
Thank you so much – same to you! There is such a fine line between giving grace and not getting lazy. But totally agree – grace is so important because even when we work so hard, it can take so much time to get bodies back to how they were.