How to Prepare Older Siblings for a New Baby

Welcoming a new baby to the family is a big transition for everyone.  It can be an especially big transition for older siblings.  As older siblings learn to share attention, space, and time it is not uncommon for them to feel jealous or begin acting out.  Here are 10 ways to prepare older siblings for a new baby.  

These 10 tips will help prepare children for a new sibling and help make the transition a little easier for everyone.  

The Best Tips to Prepare Your Toddler (or Preschooler) for a New Baby

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Talk About the New Baby

One of the best tips I have for any transition with toddlers and preschoolers is to prepare expectations.  That means A LOT of talking about what is happening and what to expect. 

Some easy examples of things we talk about regularly are: 

• How the baby is growing.
• Special ways that they will be able to help when the new baby gets home (getting him a toy, blanket, or book, helping Mama get him a new diaper, etc.)
  • Older kids will enjoy having a special job to do when the new baby gets here!
• What babies can and cannot eat. 
  • We make this a fun game, actually.  I’ll say, “Do you think your baby brother will eat chicken nuggets?” And the boys will respond, “NO!!” with laughs. And we’ll continue it for a few of their favorite foods until my oldest usually says, “Mama, babies don’t have teeth!  They can only have milk, milk, milk!”
• Talk about how you will have to spend lots of time holding the baby since the baby won’t be able to crawl or walk or even sit up by himself yet. 
  • BUT, they will get to help teach baby all these new things like rolling and crawling, etc.!
• Talk about how you will need to take time to feed the baby a lot during the day. 
• Help them think of fun activities that they might be able to do while you are feeding and holding the baby. 
• Talk about fun things that you might be able to do with them while the baby is sleeping. 

Really, anything is fair game to talk about.  Just be honest and open to answering any questions that they might have.  The more information they have, the more prepared they will feel for the transition. 

Read Books About Becoming a Big Sibling and New Babies

You can find lots of great sibling books at your local library or Amazon.  Grab a few and take time to read them often with your older children.  Celebrate that they will get to be a big sibling (either for the first time or again!), and talk about all the ways that this is an important role in your family. 

 

Look at Pictures from When They Were a Baby

This will help them understand that they used to be a baby, too!  Even though it is hard to remember. 

And look at them now!  They are SO BIG!  

Remind them that the new baby will start small, too – just like them in those pictures – but one day, he’ll be able to run and jump and play just like their older sibling!  

And how fun will that be when they can play together?!

Practice Using Gentle Hands

A lot of moms recommend getting a special doll or stuffed animal to let your kids “practice” with before having a new baby.  We’ve never done this specifically, but we have PLENTY of stuffed animals here that we practice using gentle hands with.  

I’ll tell the boys, “That is how we’ll touch our new baby, too.  Very gently!” as they practice petting their stuffed animals.  

Let Them Touch Your Belly (If they want to)

Another way to practice gentle hands is to let them touch your belly.  Our boys love to try to feel their baby brother move, so if he’s active when they’re around, I’ll try to let them feel his kicks.  

Or let them “snuggle” their baby brother in my belly when we read books.  My youngest will even give a sweet little kiss to tell his baby brother good night and it is about the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen. 

Make Any Room Changes Ahead of Time

We knew that when we had another baby, our oldest two boys would share a room.  Rather than waiting until baby is born, or just before, we went ahead and moved them into a shared room months before to give plenty of time for them to adjust and to identify their room as THEIR room rather than the room they HAD to move to because a new baby was born. 

Make it a big deal that they get to have a new room!  

Prepare Them for What Will Happen When You Are in the Hospital

Make sure your older kids know who will help take care of them while you are in the hospital.  Will it be extended family or friends?  Neighbors? 

Will someone come into your home to take care of them or will they sleep over in a new place? 

Will they be able to visit you in the hospital? (This often depends on hospital protocol, so be sure to check with your hospital!)

Especially for our oldest, helping him think of this time as a special sleep over has been really helpful.  We’ve been thinking of fun things he can do with caregivers while I’m in the hospital. 

Talking about this often will help them to not be surprised when you need to go to the hospital.  

Get a Big Sibling Gift for Them (& Let them Choose a Gift for Baby!)

Another way to get older siblings involved is by letting them choose a special gift for baby.  To be honest, I’m using the word “gift” here pretty loosely.  We’ll bring out some of their old baby toys and let them choose one they want to be sure the baby has and let them “give” it to the baby.  

For the older boys, we’ll get something fun and new for them that they can play with when the new baby gets here to celebrate them being big brothers!

My recommendation?  Something fun that they can play independently or together with one another while I’m nursing the baby.  

Carve Out Special Time for You and Your Older Children

One of the hardest transitions for older siblings when a new baby arrives is the sudden shift of attention from them and their needs to the baby. 

Make sure to carve out one on one time with older children each day while baby is sleeping or otherwise occupied.  You might need to enlist the help of dad or other family/friends to hold and snuggle baby while you get some one on one time with older kids. 

Even just reading a book together on the couch or playing a game specifically with your older child will be helpful in helping them feel more connected to you during a big transition. 

Give them space to talk about how they might be feeling, remind them how important they are to you and the family.  

Remind them that you enjoy spending time with them!

Keep Your Expectations Realistic – Cut Everyone a Little Bit of Slack

Finally, remember that introducing a new baby to the family is a BIG transition for everyone. 

And at the end of the day, no matter how well you plan or prepare for it, there will be some growing pains for everyone. 

Your older child might start to act out or seek attention in less than ideal ways, there might be some sleep regressions, and other melt-downs. 

But at the end of the day, as you are preparing to welcome your newest baby, you can remember that this too will pass.  The newborn days are so fleeting in the grand scheme of things. 

And once you all get through the transition, you’ll get to enjoy watching your relationship grow with each of your children as they also build a relationship with one another. 

 Do you have any other tips to help prepare siblings for a new baby?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!