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I am thankful everyday to be able to stay home with my children. Becoming a stay-at-home mom is not a decision that I took lightly or that I take for granted. Everyone has their own reasons for why they choose to become a stay-at-home mom, and here are mine. That said, whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, or a work outside the home mom, it really takes a village. Let’s be there for one another. We can share our own unique experiences, and still connect with and celebrate one another. Because all of us are mothers. And that is a great great gift and a great responsibility, too.
I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I am the oldest of four children and there are three kids in Hubs’ family. My own mom worked during parts of my childhood and stayed home during other parts. Eventually, she became a teacher and worked when we were in school. This was awesome because we were all on the same schedule.
I got my first job when I was 16 at a fine jewelry store. I worked there during high school and seasonally through my sophomore year of college. During college, I had a job on campus during the year and other jobs during the summer. I worked in leasing, babysitting, office administration, and even some sales and advertising. I enjoyed every one of these jobs.
In graduate school, I worked on campus as well as for a non-profit consulting firm. Following graduation, Hubs and I got married, honeymooned, and I began my career working in student services on a University campus. I loved my job. Mostly. I transitioned in the same department to become the office manager after about a year and a half. That’s the job I was in when we had Little.
To be honest, I always thought I would eventually become a stay-at-home mom, but when my boss found out I was expecting, he was so supportive and willing to work with me that I wanted to give it a try to go back to work. Because we were on an academic/fiscal year calendar, I decided I would give it until June 30 and reevaluate. I went back to work in December, 12 weeks after having Little.
I stayed there for 4 months before ultimately deciding to stay home full time with Little.
To be honest, I really enjoyed my time at work and am really grateful to have had the experience to go back to a job I loved. But, when our nanny got a new job offer, Hubs and I decided that it was the right time to make the transition.
Everyday I am reminded just how much of a blessing it is to be this little boy’s mama. I cherish all the time I get to spend with him.
Why I Became a Stay-at-Home Mom
Becoming a stay-at-home mom was not a decision that we made flippantly. We thought about it, prayed about it, and ultimately made the choice that was right for our family in this season.
Here are my top reasons for choosing to leave the work-force to become a stay-at-home mom.
My Job Was Far Away & I Spent Way Too Much Time in The Car
According to Google maps, my office was just about 30 minutes from my driveway. What that didn’t include was time getting off campus and highway congestion during rush hour, in the rain, or after any sort of car accident had taken place.
Depending on those variable factors, it might take me almost an hour to get home from work any given afternoon. What used to be a completely do-able commute turned incredibly stressful when I was rushing home to pick up Little. My commute took so many extra hours out of my week and I was constantly on the go.
I Felt Unable to Give 100% to any of my Roles
When I do things, I like to do them well.
I loved my job, but I knew that family always comes first. When I was working, I always felt the push and pull between work and family.
When I was at work, I felt confident and productive, but I was always arriving to the office late (or at least rushed) and trying to get home before rush hour traffic – which only sometimes happened.
At home, I was rushing to get dinner on the table, bags packed for the next day, breastfeeding Little and trying to get any bits of cleaning done that we could. It was truly like having two full time jobs at once.
I Didn’t Want to Miss This Time With Little
Deciding to leave my job was a decision that I took seriously. It was a good job with a great team and a really supportive boss. I had been praying for guidance on when the right time might be to transition home and my nanny turning in her 30 day notice was a clear sign to me that it was time to leave.
I knew I was leaving behind a work force that would always be there to spend time with Little who was growing more every day.
What I meant by that was that if I stayed home and decided it wasn’t for me, I could find another job. It might not be the same job, or even a job at the same level. But eventually, I would be able to re-enter the workforce if I wanted.
I would never have the opportunity to go back and spend time with Little as a baby.
I Wanted to Teach Little and Watch Him Grow
This is similar to the previous point, but I really wanted to be the one to teach Little and to see him grow and learn new things.
Our nanny was excellent. At the end of the day though, I wanted to be the one to teach Little. We spend lots of time learning at home together. We practice our letters, numbers, shapes, manners, and bible verses on a regular basis. It is incredible how much Little is able to learn and pick up on so quickly at this age.
Some Thoughts after a Year as a Stay-at-Home Mom
I am thankful every single day to be able to stay home with Little. I don’t ever want to take for granted the opportunity that I have with him. Not every mom will choose to stay home full time.
Many moms don’t feel like they have the option even if they wanted to stay home full time. There are so many ways to parent well and very few that are easy.
No matter which choice you making, momming is no easy task. I want to encourage working mamas and stay-at-home mamas to do the best you can in whatever circumstance.
[ctt template=”2″ link=”5uZgP” via=”yes” nofollow=”yes”]There a lots of ways to parent well. Just not many ways that are easy.[/ctt]Since staying home with Little, I have been able to learn even more to depend on God’s grace. I am a work in progress and there are still so many things I am working on (a regular cleaning schedule for one).
Staying home has allowed me to meet new people and get to know my neighbors better and it allows us to spend more family time together on the weekends since I have a little bit of flex time during the week to catch up on things that we might not get to during the weekend.
This is truly my favorite job yet. It is tough and exhausting. But it’s also, incredibly rewarding.
Talk to Me
I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on staying at home vs. working outside of the home. Having been in both roles as a mom, I truly see value to both. I am so thankful to have had both of those experiences. I do not regret going back to work at all, in the same way that I do not regret deciding to stay home. There is much to be learned from sharing our experiences and encouraging one another. It takes a whole village. Am I right?!
I love that you pointed out that no way of motherhood is truly easy. And also, it’s so true that one can always go back to work. I feel like so many times, mamas think that the decisions they make are forever, for life; that whether at work or at home, they’ll be there for the rest of their lives. And that’s not even close to true! You can always try something, then go back and reevaluate that decision 🙂
Caity – you bring up a really good point about remembering that we can always go back and reevaluate our choices! Thanks so much for sharing!
It’s so wonderful that you’ve been able to stay at home with your kids! My mom stayed home with us then worked from home later on and I loved that she was able to be around for us. I’m so glad this has worked out for you! Such a wonderful time of life!
I am thankful for it everyday!
I have always been just a stay at home mom. I often wonder how working would be but with 4 littles and homeschooling, that’s not in the cards. Ultimately, I think I’d hate being away from them- I can’t go to the grocery store without feeling guilty for being away. I’m glad you got to experience both! Sounds like it gave you a good view of both options!
Nothing wrong with that at all! There are pros and cons to both, I think. I am thinking of homeschooling, too when that time comes!
I too am a SAHM. Some days are harder than others, but I am glad that I can. I know though, that it’s not for everyone and thats ok.
I completely agree!!
It was so important to me to watch my kids be little. I’ve been offered some amazing jobs but my heart just isn’t there.
It really is a wonderful opportunity to be able to stay with them in this season! Glad you were able to choose the same!
I love this… I always wanted to be a SAHM and when I went back to work my heart was just elsewhere. Deciding to stay at home was the best decision!
I’m glad you are able to be home! I really appreciated having the experience of being back at work. It makes me confident in my decision about being home now, even though I had a great job!
I stayed at home too when I gave my first birth
Many people told me that I am wasting my life, study and so on … but I did not listen to them because I wanna see my baby grow up and I am happy wth that
زهرة بوزيد
I’m glad that you found what’s best for your family! I definitely do not consider staying at home a waste of anything. I am still very grateful for my education and professional experience!
I love these thoughts! Staying at home is such a wonderful thing to be able to do. It’s hard feeling torn between everything and I’m so glad it worked out for you!
Thank you so much! I am thankful to be home every single day!
I’m with you. I always knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I also enjoyed some different kinds of satisfaction that I got from a job. I tried to go back to work about 6 weeks after my first was born and it lasted about a week because the original arrangement that I’d worked out with my boss prior to having her wasn’t going to work by the time I came back. Like you, I felt the gentle push to stay home rather than try and make a job work and I’m so glad I did. It hasn’t been easy and there are some days when I would totally trade my husband and go to work for him and he can stay home (haha) but most days I’m really glad I have the choice to stay home.
You summed up exactly how I feel in just a few sentences! It is definitely not always easy and certainly not glamorous, but I wouldn’t trade it!
I love your thoughts here, the point you made about all the time spent in the car is something that my husband always talks about too.
Thanks so much! Commuting time is so easy to forget about, but it adds up so quickly!
Stay at home mom’s rock. I’ve been home w mine for 6 years I love it!
Thanks so much! <3
I love your honesty in this post and the different things you looked at to make your decision.
Thanks! There really are so many factors to consider!
I worked for a brief time after my oldest was born. The deciding factor for me was when she kept getting sick and with a ton of ear infections. Besides, I hated not being home to take care of her when she was sick. At the end of the day, I wanted to be with her and we could make it work. Like you, I don’t regret it. I’m now home with 3 kids and in the last 2 years, have started homeschooling. Love this time with my kids; once it’s gone, there’s no getting it back.
Oh, I would love to know about your homeschooling! I’m thinking about it for pre-school around here!
This just reminds me how much I wanted to be a stay at home mom too. I wanted to be able to so badly and this just makes me want to but then I remember how much I just love my job and I’m not quite ready to say goodbye yet. I hate feeling like I miss so much with them – I wish we could make it work.
It can be so tough, I’m sure. I truly do see benefit to both and I”m glad for you that you have a job that you really enjoy. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts! All the best, Mama!
Such great reasons! I became a stay at home mom after the birth of my first as well, and while I sometimes miss teaching, I am glad we are able to make it work.
Thank you. I am thankful everyday that we can make it work!
I love your thoughts on this! I just decided to leave my job for a lot of the same reasons. I can especially relate to your thoughts on not being able to give 100% to either.
Thank you so much, Heather! I wish you all the best in staying home with your little one!
I am right there with you. I only worked long enough after having my firstborn to put in my 2 weeks notice. My job at the time was an hour commute one way! I love that I’m home with my kids, and I feel so blessed that we can do it. It’s a sacrifice financially, but SO worth it for us. 🙂
The commute can be really brutal and you really start to notice how much time you are in the car when you have a little one to get home to! I also feel really thankful to be able to stay home!
This was a really great post to read from someone who doesn’t have any kids yet. I definitely plan to be a SAHM but love seeing the perspective of both since you’ve been there. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Absolutely; thank you for stopping by! I am thankful to have had both experiences. I’m really Team Mom, whether moms choose to work or stay home, but I am personally thankful for the opportunity to be home!
These are all the reasons why I still haven’t taken the plunge and gotten a regular 9-5 job. (I’m a WAHM.) Honestly, I’ve been all three types of Moms and they all have their pros and cons.
I totally understand! You are completely right – all have their pros and cons and none are easy!
I will feature this Thursday at Home Sweet Home!
Thank you so much! I’ve got your site bookmarked to share!
You will never regret this. My children are now older and I did the same thing. Once they marry and move you will not get this time with them ever again. Bravo on your choice! Thank you for sharing at Home Sweet Home!
Thank you so much, Sherry. I appreciate your kind words!
I would have loved to stay at home when my daughter was younger, but from a financial standpoint, I needed to work. My daughter is in school now, but I often wish I was able to have more flexibility in my job so I could pick her up when she gets out in the middle of the afternoon. But I also see the benefit of me working — my daughter sees what I do to support the two of us, and she is learning the value of hard work. We all do what works best for us!
I totally understand and agree with you that there is also benefit to working. I’m sure your daughter will grow up appreciating all that you do for your family! You are right – we all do what works best and that’s different for everyone!
I appreciate this! I have officially been a stay at home mom for one week now and can relate to so much of this.
Wow! Congratulations! Soak it all up!
I never in my wildest dreams would have thought I would be stay-at-home mom but I love it. And I love homeschooling too, which is something else that was never on my radar.
Thanks so much, Kristi! It’s funny how the things we want to do can change when we have kids!
Thank you for sharing your story! I’m going to post it, as I feel it would encourage other moms. 🙂
When my husband and I had our first, we decided it would be best for our family for me to stay home. I loved it. But during that time I realized I wanted to go to college (we were missionaries and traveled domestic and foreign and studied at a ministry school before getting married). Like your mom, I decided to become a teacher. During those years we had two more children and I took classes online until I had to transfer to a university and begin junior courses, and eventually, student teaching. Long story, but during student teaching I found myself wanting to write instead of teach, and (with God’s direction) decided to change my major. I am now staying home with my children and it is such a joy to be the one to take them to school each morning and pick them up for extracurriculars. (It’s the little things that bring so much joy, isn’t it?) I also wrote a book two years ago (YA fiction) and am currently in the last stages of revision. Later this year I will be querying literary agents to try and get represented and hopefully, eventually, get a book deal. I love being able to stay home and be available to my babies, and to write books and blog. I know many mommas are not able to, and I’m grateful for what I have. 🙂
Thank you so much, Heather! I appreciate you sharing your story. I am so thankful everyday to be able to stay home and I really have enjoyed being able to blog more frequently! Your story is a good reminder to me that even though we love staying home – we are still women with lots of interests as well! I wish you all the best on your book!
I understand. When my first child was born, I knew there was no way I could go back to work. I’ve worked from home in some form or fashion ever since, 19 years later. I also added 6 more kids to the mix. 😉
Wow! What a crew! I’m glad to hear that you’ve been able to find a balance working at home with the kids! It can be tough to be productive at home some (lots of) days!
Great job, Mama. I know that making the decision to stay at home or go back to work after having children is very difficult. I have a combination as a work-from-home mom, but like you, I have never regretted spending each and every day with my little. I have sacrificed money and personal hygiene, but this was definitely the best fit for our family. I love that you took the time to reflect back upon the year that you have shared with your baby. Thank you so much for sharing.
Personal hygiene….that is the one that no one tells you about, but you are so right. I’m still looking for the perfect dry shampoo! I’m glad you’ve found a good balance that works well for your family!
What a great post and perspective on being a SAHM. I have days I wish I could be home more. Ok, most days I do, especially Mondays!
Thanks, Annie! I appreciate you stopping by! I bet Mondays are tough. You’re doing a great job though, Mama!
I’ve been in both roles too. I was able to stay at home until my kids were in first grade, and then had to go back to work as a sub. Thankfully, for the first 2 kids, I was able to sub at my kids’ school. With the third one, I’ve also had to sub at other schools, and it’s hard. I’m exhausted at the end of the day, and would love to be able to go back to staying at home.
Thanks, Brenda! It is really tough. Hopefully that means you get summers off with them? My mom worked as a substitute teacher for several years when we were in school as well!
My mom was a stay-at-home mom until we went to highschool (kind of like middleschool in the US I think). It was perfect. We got to grow up with our mom always being there and being creative with us, and as soon as we (me and my sister) wanted a little more space she started taking on projects outside of the house. I am truly blessed for the way she handled it all. She loved her job but gave it up to be with us. That takes strength!
Thanks for stopping by, Louisa! That sounds similar to the way my mom handled things and it also worked well for us. I’ve got several years until mine are in school, so we’ll see what I decide to do then!
I raised my oldest while working and earning my degree. It wasn’t my ideal desire but it was what needed to be. When my daughter was born 10 years later I figured I would continue the same way: work and find a balance. Yet it just didn’t feel right anymore. I wanted to fully experience her and motherhood in a way I didn’t feel I could while working. 2 more Kiddies later I have been a SAHM for nearly 10 years and I’ve loved every single crazy moment…
So fun! I love your blog and following along with your journey! It is a wild and crazy ride, that’s for sure – but so fun!
Me, too! I will never regret staying home and home educating my precious 5 children. Thanks for this post!
Thanks, Denise! I knew that I wouldn’t ever have these moments back and I am thankful for the opportunity to be home for them. That is awesome that you taught all 5 of your kids!
I stayed home and raised all four of our daughters. I took a teaching position when the youngest was a senior in high school. I loved staying home with the girls and I loved teaching. When DD3 had our first grandchild last July, I quit teaching to take care of my granddaughter during the day while my daughter and wonderful SIL work. My reasons might have been more of a control issue. LOL Love this post! So glad you are enjoying your time home. I know it’s not for everyone but I’m glad it was for me. 🙂
Visiting from the Sharefest.
Thanks so much, Pam! I’m glad that you enjoyed your time at home with your kids and now with your granddaughter! I truly believe that it’s possible to like both jobs – staying home and working outside the home and that different choices might be best for different times in our lives. I agree with you – I’m glad it was the choice for me!
Such a great post! It’s always interesting to see each person’s opinion on this topic and their reasons behind their choice. I grew up with both my parents working and I am 98% sure that’s what our kids (whenever that happens) will have as well. I’m always in awe of all that stay-at-home-moms do, definitely not an easy job!
Thanks, Sarah! I think that there are definitely pros and cons to either choice, and neither choice is easy, that’s for sure!
Love the blog! 🙂 I decided to stay home with my son for the same reasons. I chose the most important and God given responsibility, and that was to care for my husband, raise my son, and keep my home. My husband and I never saw each other. He left as I came in and vice versa. I got home in time to get my new baby ready for bed. It felt pointless to me to give all of myself to a job and very little to my family. I was miserable. I don’t regret leaving work either! It was truly a step of faith since it cut our income in half. But God is faithful and has never failed to provide and we are blessed. I pray your post encourages others who find themselves at that same intersection in life we once were. 🙂
Abundant Blessings,
Rhonda
LadyEvolves.com
Thank you so much, Rhonda! I am so thankful for the opportunity to stay home. It definitely allows me to spend more time focusing on managing our home well and being a wife and mother!
I love this and I love your heart! Thank you for being such a wonderful example of godly womanhood and motherhood for me to look up to!! <3
Oh, Traci. You are so good to my heart. Thank you so much! I am thankful for you!! <3
I too have been solely a “stay-at-home” mom for just over a year, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. While my husband doesn’t make a LOT of money at his job, we still decided this would be the best option. Before, when my kids were in school, working a part time job during that time worked out well. However, after my autistic son graduated high school and I began homeschooling our daughter, it was a different matter all together! Even though we would surely miss the income, it was still for the best that I stay home, considering everything.
Since then, I have started a Freelance Writing career that at times trumps anything I was making “out there” lol. But there are lean times too. I guess that goes without saying. Good times and bad, rain and shine, nothing ever really stays the same except God’s love for us 🙂
In staying home, it’s given me so many opportunities to be the wife and mother I was meant to be and I take it very, very seriously. I know it’s not the right decision for everyone, but I know it was right for me.
Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, Stacey! I also find that I am better able to focus on my job as a wife and mother staying home and I am really thankful for that!
I decided to leave my job when my 2nd child was born. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made and I was terrified! Now I’m a WAH Mom and I’m not sure things are any better for stress. I’m still not able to give 100% in any area of my life, but I get to work on my own terms and travel when I want and it’s been an amazing blessing to not pay for childcare. It’s not for everyone but good for you for listening to your heart and taking the leap!
Thanks, Bri! Working at home is really tough – my hat is off to you! I have a few friends who work from home so I see some of these challenges from their perspective. My boss let me work from home a few days/week to be flexible, which I really appreciated, but honestly those were often my hardest days since I was literally at both jobs at once! Momming is no easy task, that’s for sure!
First of all, the photos in this post are SO sweet! You can see the love beaming out of them. I do not have any children yet, but this is a topic that I often overhear my friends and colleagues discussing a lot. It makes me really think about what I would do when my husband & I decide to have children. There were certainly a lot of compelling reasons for you to become a stay-at-home mom. I’m sure it’s one of the hardest jobs a woman can do! It’s hard for me having a full-time job and juggling the demands of keeping up a blog side-hustle so I can only image how hard it was for you to balance work/life demands of both your job and being a mom. It sounds like you made an excellent decision and are on a great path ahead with raising your little one!
Thank you so much! Like every job, it has it’s challenges, but it is truly my favorite job yet! It was so tough for me to balance everything, and frankly, it’s still tough some days to balance Little, home, and the blog. But I am so thankful for this opportunity! I am really thankful for the opportunity I had to work and stay home. It’s given me a good perspective of both worlds, I think.
I have been a SAHM for almost 22 years and am now working my way out of a job. (My youngest is 16 and just got her driver’s license.) I do not regret one day that I have been at home with them. Take breaks with your husband and friends periodically to stay sane, but otherwise savor the time and know that some days will seem to last forever, but the years will fly by.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your perspective. I know that I will never have these days back and I want to be intentional to soak up every single one!
I love this. I decided to stay home when I was pregnant and left my job two months before my baby was born. I loved my job but it was also a 45 minute drive each way for me and I too felt like I would spend way too much time away from home. We also were going to be moving when the baby was 5 months old and I would have to quit my job anyways. I am so glad I decided to stay home when I did. I can’t imagine putting the baby in daycare at 6 weeks old and am so grateful that I get to be with him for each moment, watching him learn and grow. I have so much respect for women that have to go back to work because you are right, it is like having two full time jobs. Excellent read.
Thanks so much, Jessica! Commuting time really does make a big difference in the amount of time you are away from home! It is so wonderful to be able to stay home. I am thankful every single day for it.
I appreciate your real, yet positive prospective!
Thanks so much, Shana!
I love reading pieces like this! I think there’s value in both roles, and it really depends on the person and their situation in life. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and I loved being around her all day when I was very young, but I didn’t notice her at-home role as much once I was at school for most of the day. Not being a mom myself I can’t say one way or the other which I’d choose, but it sounds like you had a chance to experience both and you were able to choose the best one for you and your family, which at the end of the day is the best you can do.
Thanks so much Kate! I’m thankful to have had the option to stay home and for the perspective from both sides. Mostly, I’m thankful for support regardless of which I chose!
Lovely way to represent and value both working at home and working outside of the home. We’re all doing the best we can, the best way we know how and I really appreciate the way you put that sentiment into words from your experience. Best of luck to you and your family!
Thank you so much; I appreciate your kind words. I definitely feel very thankful to have had both experiences and truly see value to both. I want to encourage and be supportive of all mamas and I hope that both working moms and stay-at-home moms can find something to relate to here!